News without a clue
Perhaps my expectations are a little high, but I generally expect the people who deliver the news to have at least a bit of an idea what they're talking about. It seems lately though that they're either 100% clueless, or just making shit up. Take this latest article from WBTV in North Carolina.
It attempts to inform parents about some possible "code" their children might use in text messaging. That's fine. I don't particularly agree with spying on your children, but some people do. But what's not fine, is spreading information that is misleading, and often flat out wrong. Let's take a look at what we've got here.
According to a recent survey, 95% of parents don't recognize the lingo kids use to let people know that their parents are watching.
This should probably read "According to a recent survey, 95% of parents are fucking retarded". If you have a child that's old enough to have a cell phone today, you were a part of the 90s. There is no excuse for being oblivious to technology.
Since most texting is confined to 200 characters or less, text messages are heavily abbreviated and often written in what looks like a secret code. Computer geeks call it "Leetspeak" or "Leet" for short.
Wrong. Text shorthand is nothing close to l33tsp3@k. Th15 15 l33t5p3@k. We'll come back to this snippet later, where the author contradicts him/herself.
So, let's go through what the article suggests are 10 text messages to pay special attention to!
8 - Oral sex
And we start the list off with bullshit! You made this up, author. This is used absolutely nowhere as a code for oral sex. An acceptable answer would have been 69, even though that'd be wrong too.
PAW - Parents Watching
While this is a legitimate "code", it is generally used in instant messaging, and not texting. I'll give you a pass on this one, because it is plausible.
143 - I love you
182 - I hate you
I'm lumping these together, because just like the first example, these are complete bullshit. Stop making shit up, author.
KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
I'm very skeptical about this one. First, I've never seen this used, ever. Second, kids don't talk like this.
LMIRL - Lets meet in real life
Again, this fits squarely into the online instant messaging area. If someone has your phone number, chances are you've met them already. If not, your kid has bigger issues than using text shorthand.
420 - Marijuana
This obscure "leetspeak code" has only been used since the early 80s. I can understand how the author thought it might be something parents might not know about!
ASL - Age/Sex/Location
Well what do you know, another online instant messaging abbreviation. Do your children often get text messages from people they've never met, or even know their sex, author? Oh, and that's what the S part means, their sex. Not if they want to have sex, and what location to have it in.
Banana - Penis
So not only is this completely made up, it's also a contradiction to the whole heavily abbreviated part.
I'm beginning to think that I'm in the wrong career field. I generally enjoy making up bullshit stories, but I never knew you could get paid for publishing them!