What Does Mike Think? From the profound to the profane

A list of little things that bug me

Because I'm in a pissy mood today, and I know you care.

• "Alot" is not a word. What you mean to say is "a lot". You wouldn't say alittle, would you?
• The abbreviation for microphone is "mic", not Mike. There is no k to be found in the word. Stop misusing my name!
• People who say "Nuff said", and then go on to say more. First of all, you sound like a cock for saying that. Secondly, if you've already said enough, shut the fuck up!
• The gross misuse of ellipses. Good god people! This indicates an omission of information, not a pause in speaking. Learn how to use a god damn comma!
• Stop saying "lol" before and after every sentence! It's not funny. You weren't actually laughing out loud. You're just a moron.
• People that fart at the gym, and aren't me. Listen, I'm the only one allowed to do this, ok? You go somewhere else!
• Places that don't accept credit cards. It's 2010 people. Is it that hard to adopt decades old technology?
• People who wipe boogers on the bathroom stall wall/door. Really guys. The toilet paper is right fucking next to you.
• Reality TV.

To be continued.